Living among ruins...

What has my life turned into?

what have I become?

among the pieces of the past

saving the fragile present.

Trying to color the shadowy today,

with the colorful stain

of a pale, ghostly yesterday

which pounds in life's each grain.

What about the promised 'calm'

that comes before each storm?

will chaos always prevail

shrinking my soul to a mere thorn?

Do I murder it and move on

with nothing left to hurt anymore?

or do I unburden the past

and dare to remember once more?

The little lies of life,

have spoken the truth today

I deserve to burn in agony,

and be in limbo, this way.

for I chose to let it be,

when it did matter the most

I chose to say goodbye,

when nothing could make me leave.

I chose to let go of it all

even though all I had was my heart

I chose to choose,

when there was no choice at all.

I know its wrong to lie,

and i wronged myself back then

I dont think I can forgive myself

or be forgiven for what I did.

Why then do I keep looking back?

whom do I expect to see?

what I left behind, stayed behind.

why then do I imagine it following me?

I loved, was loved

but only to loose

and now when nothing remains,

what do i choose?

Fire,they say, is the final destroyer,

so while I burn to ashes,

I'll be waiting patiently to see how it feels,

to live among ruins.