What has my life turned into?
what have I become?
among the pieces of the past
saving the fragile present.
Trying to color the shadowy today,
with the colorful stain
of a pale, ghostly yesterday
which pounds in life's each grain.
What about the promised 'calm'
that comes before each storm?
will chaos always prevail
shrinking my soul to a mere thorn?
Do I murder it and move on
with nothing left to hurt anymore?
or do I unburden the past
and dare to remember once more?
The little lies of life,
have spoken the truth today
I deserve to burn in agony,
and be in limbo, this way.
for I chose to let it be,
when it did matter the most
I chose to say goodbye,
when nothing could make me leave.
I chose to let go of it all
even though all I had was my heart
I chose to choose,
when there was no choice at all.
I know its wrong to lie,
and i wronged myself back then
I dont think I can forgive myself
or be forgiven for what I did.
Why then do I keep looking back?
whom do I expect to see?
what I left behind, stayed behind.
why then do I imagine it following me?
I loved, was loved
but only to loose
and now when nothing remains,
what do i choose?
Fire,they say, is the final destroyer,
so while I burn to ashes,
I'll be waiting patiently to see how it feels,
to live among ruins.
